as a part of my periodical paige breakdown, here are some thoughts
it’s funny in a sad way how much my college doesn’t matter on a larger scale but how extreme it feels right now
i don’t mean college in the whole sense of the word but like, on a smaller scale as in grades.
people, especially engineer majors, like to freak me out because if you don’t get a n A then you are doing it wrong. or if you don’t take “hard” classes then you aren’t smart. but i’m so fucking over it
talking to my family today reminds me of this. what’s sadly funny is how often i have to be reminded because i repeatedly get lost in the the ocean of school.
my family does not care if i get a C in a class. sure, they’d be more proud of an A but they are just as proud with a C. it’s such a small insignificant detail that absorbs you in the moment but fades and is never remembered again unless for bragging rights.
and also maybe if you want to go to a good grad school.
but hell i don’t even know what i want to do and whether or not it needs to be accomplished via grad school
social hierarchy has really fucked us up
i;m about to write the most pointless paper in my life and i don’t care
i just want to be home and for it to be christmas
work hard but not at the price of your self-preservation
be proud in what you do now and do what makes you feel good physcially and mentally
worry about getting a job later
luv u bbs